Sketch of Vietnam/My 20's from a Backpack

Two young, sweaty travelers meet on the rooftop of a hostel in Hôi An. The air is thick with moisture, there is half-drunk coffee with condensed milk gathering flies on the table between them, and one of the two is bleeding.

“Are you interested in going out tonight?” says the person who resembles a blonde girl, sounds Dutch. “I heard there is a great night market.”

“Yes,” says the person who appears as a strawberry boy, speaks like an American. “I’d love to. When do you want to go?”

“Now? Seems alright?”
The couple waddles toward the canals in the central district.
“There are gangs in this city, I’m told,” she says softly to break the silence. “Where I’m from, too,” he smirks.
He is uncomfortable sweating like this so he suggests an indoor bar with misting fans along the North side of the main canal. She insists the night market is close and they cross over a bridge. His grey, cotton shirt is completely drenched by the time they sit down for Cao Lâu. The rice noodles, shredded pork, greens, bean sprouts, and steaming water seem to break his perspiration.

She has been here longer than him, he found that out on the walk. Her trip is scheduled for one year and she is closing in on ten months, but the friend she began the adventure with went to Fiji with a boy they met in Taiwan and now she thinks she might stay on the road if she can find a job in a hostel that will pay her enough to sustain another eight months of travel. As she brings up a big globule of rice noodle dotted with mint and chives to her mouth, she thinks this might be the best thing she’s ever eaten. “Maybe I am overly sentimental now, because it’s nearing the end, and my friend left me for a boy, but I can’t stop thinking about how reality never lives up to imagination.”

“It can’t,” he says. “Imagination is limitless. Reality has strict laws that define what is and is not possible. Gravity.”

“Yeah,” she shakes her head. “I mean that reality is unconcerned with the possibility of utopia. To the point that it’s a bad word. ‘Unrealistic’ like a pejorative.”

She gives an example about her friend that went off to Fiji with the boy. The moment the two arrived on the archipelago, he began to ignore her. Not in broad ways, he still accompanied her physically, but he was emotionally elsewhere. When they would go swimming or taxi to the airport or check into hostels, he would appear stricken by her presence instead of grateful for her company, which is what prompted him to ask for her to join him in the first place.

“And it all came to a boiling point one night when she was readying to go out for dinner and he said that he didn’t want to go, that he wasn’t hungry and would miss dinner, but that she could go if she wanted to. She said, ‘I came here with you, I want to eat with you’ and then he just blurted out that he wasn’t satisfied with her and preferred to be alone for a few days, to gather his thoughts.”

“So,” the American asks as they make their way to a bar along the mouth of the river. “What did she do?”

“Well, she told him she wasn’t satisfied either, although she told him the honest truth, all of it, which was that she wasn’t satisfied sexually as well as emotionally because he had increasingly treated her like an object without a soul in bed, just some external device to get off with. And of course that bit of truth sent him into a tail spin. They spent a few days apart.”

She falls silent and he asks, “How does that indicate reality not living up to imagination?”

“Right,” she snaps out of the quiet trance that the heat lulled her into. “Because I heard this and I was really happy for my friend. Personally, I felt the guy was shallow and not even particularly interesting. When she told me that his penis was closer to small than average, I thought it made sense because he was obsessed with my friend’s beauty. Everything was about how pretty she was rather than how much he truly enjoyed her as a person. Like her outward appearance was the main reason he was drawn to her, which I think can only be talked about so much before your emptiness shows itself. My friend didn’t care about his size, but he did. And it made all the difference. And I just thought, wow, she got to have a fun time with a boy on this trip, but then I assumed she would come back and join me. I imagined us both working in order to save money for future travel, and meeting another group of boys, maybe like you, or something, and having a better experience that would make her forget that guy. But now they’re in the same hostel in Kyoto and she says she thinks they’re in love.”

The Dutch and the American laugh and eventually buy balloons full of chemicals and a small bag of marijuana from a man who comes up to their table and offers drugs. And then they find themselves in an after-hours bar called The Tiger Trap at two in the morning. More travelers that the Dutch knows join them, and the American scurries off before saying goodbye to anyone.  The next day he rents a moped and drives all the way to Hai Vân pass, the luscious green mountain range that served as a boundary between kingdoms in historical Vietnam, where small monkey’s now cross the road right in front of him, waiting for him to drop treats. He wishes he would have invited the Dutch along. Doesn’t know why he didn’t. On the way back, he gets what is known as a Thai-tattoo when he crashes into a motorcycle that turns in front of him and flies over the handlebars. Road rash cuts him to the bone.

Limping into the hostel that evening, scraped and cut on his ankle, and concussed, he passes by the Dutch, who asks him where he went off to last night, that she didn’t even see him go and wishes she would have, because she enjoyed their conversations, but, well, she doesn’t really know why, but she would have liked them to walk home together. He lies and says something about how the same thing happened to him, that he looked for her and wishes they could have walked home together but now he must go to the center of town for an appointment with a tailor that will make him a world renowned, handmade suit in three days. She says she would like to do the same, and get a pretty dress made.

They are both bleeding, despite each other’s personal thoughts that they are perfect and whole... Exciting and mysterious.

He waddles up to his room and tries to disinfect himself, wishing that he could connect with a person he doesn’t know for longer than a few hours. Wishing he wasn’t bleeding and about to try on a terry-clothed suit. Maybe next time, he thinks, wonders what the Dutch thinks about him.

Neue Zeitung

Albert Einstein lay in a Princeton, New Jersey hospital bed in 1955 when a system of intricate blood vessels around his heart burst like a piñata. He turned to the nurse, in considerable pain but still elegant in his focus to die with dignity, and said something in German, then expired. As she, regrettably, did not speak the language, the last words of the most famous physicist and intellectual that ever lived, passed unknown. His final spoken testament, heard by one person who was in charge of his care, evaporated. This caused very little consternation in Einstein’s adopted home as people quickly mourned the loss of his oeuvre rather than his person but quite a lot of discomfort came from the land of his birth. While trivial to some, this loss joins various wasted data. The Germans, being notorious for their love of clean lines and resolute knots, could not imagine that such imprudence took place in the presence of a genius like Dr. Albert. Thankfully, the nurse on call that evening, Ms. Marlette Blumfeld, gave an interview to Die Neue Zeitung (The New Times), a popular German newspaper, before she died in 2014. It was never printed, as the Madame declared it “an exercise in bullying a caregiver” rather than the exposé she was told it would become. A classic bait and switch, she insisted.

The transcript of this interview is reproduced below.

Die Neue Zeitung (DNZ): Thank you for allowing us into your home. It is very nice here.

Marlette Blumfeld (MB): Well, it’s a pleasure to have you. Florida’s too muggy this time of year but with an enclosed porch and a wall unit, it feels like New Jersey again!

DNZ: Right. I was just there, in fact. In Princeton. When did you move?

MB: Many years ago. The winters dried my hands too much and the summers were so sweltering. I didn’t want to be one of those old folks who died in their houses when the weather turned.

DNZ: That is quite a problem, isn’t it.

MB: Don’t I know it! I’ve got three friends who died in the last heat wave. Not a lot of old buildings are equipped with air conditioning. The moment we reach above one hundred it can feel like the surface of the moon. I wanted more friendly conditions for my retirement.

DNZ: I hope you found what you were looking for. So, for the record, how old are you now?

MB: Sixteen. Just kidding – you know those people who say they’re thirty every year after they turn sixty? I’m not one of them. In fact, I kind of despise the friends I have that are like that. Time passes for all of us. Why fear time? It’s the idea of death that can shake you, but time? How arbitrary. You wouldn’t be scared of a layover in Georgia, you’d be scared of the flight that awaits you on the other side!

DNZ: Okay.

MB: Do you understand? I know there’s a language barrier here.

DNZ: Um… I think it’s a metaphor that is not quite doing what it intends, but yes, I do understand. So… your age.

MB: Eighty four years and eleven months. If you want to get into days I’ll have to call my general practitioner.

(Marlette laughs. The interviewer becomes slightly uncomfortable.)

DNZ: When did you start working for the University Hospital?

MB: I was twenty-one years old when I began. Worked there for forty years.

DNZ: What made you want to get into the profession?

MB: Well, customs were very different back then. To be a woman in 1950 was little different than being a woman in the year of Christ. It was men who killed Jesus, you know? Roman men. Jewish men!

DNZ: Um…

MB: Don’t get bashful. I know your kind. All your parents and grandparents were NAZIs. You might pucker up when I talk about the Jews, but you’ve heard it before. From an uncle maybe? An older brother of one of your friends? The Jewish question has always intrigued me, too. Why have we been so cruel to them? Did they ask for it? I don’t think so. I have some Jewish blood in me, in fact. A great grandfather, hence the ‘Blum’ in Blumfeld. I never identified with it, though. Jews were always too secretive and grinny for me. You know? Ask me what you want to ask.

DNZ: Well, you see, I, I’m only interested in your time at the Hospital.

MB: Great. Go ahead.

DNZ: You were the night nurse there?

MB: Bingo. Next?

DNZ: And you… were part of the team that cared for Dr. Einstein?

MB: Now we’re getting somewhere! See how long it took for you to ask the question that you wanted to ask? The compunction of you Europeans is always tiring. Who has the time! Yes, I was there when he was there. Yes, I cared for him. And yes, I know your next question. Yes, I was there when he died. His body emitted a terrible odor at the end.

DNZ: Is that so?

MB: Oh yes. The stench of death is stronger in some than others. As you can imagine, I saw a considerable amount of terminal patients in my career, and all of them stank in a particular manner. All different, but all putrid and unkempt. Albert was no different. Worse, even.

DNZ: Did you call him Albert?

MB: We all did. He was a dying man. There wasn’t much speaking.

DNZ: I’m glad you brought that up –

MB: See what I did there? You’re welcome.

DNZ: Yes, I just want to get a sense of your background. Did you learn other languages besides English before you began to work?

MB: So this is about that, then? Nobody asks the right questions here. Where you’re from, there’s a problem.

DNZ: Excuse me?

MB: I got a lot of flack for not remembering that man’s final words, you know that –

DNZ: That’s why we’re here.

MB: Don’t I know it. The reality is that I didn’t learn German because I’m one-eighth Jewish and a whole lotta A-MERI-CAN. We learned Spanish in high school. What’s the big deal–I didn’t get the old geezer’s words right– I’ve seen – have I told you I’ve seen a lot of people die in my day and most of the time they don’t spit out a soliloquy – they don’t crap out an equation.

DNZ: But this wasn’t just some old man, as you say, it was Doctor Albert Einstein. He could have revealed something crucial.

MB: Yeah? About what? You meant to come here and embarrass me for not knowing what your beloved Doctor Bert said before he croaked? That’s very like a German. You know one of the things the guy did say as he checked into our care? “I’m an American citizen.” No bull! We asked for his I.D. and his insurance card and the man handed it to us before declaring, “I’m an American citizen.” So he liked it here, with our nurse practitioners and our leaving everyone to their liberty. You get out of here, now.

DNZ: I don’t mean to upset you, it’s just… we’re very curious. To hear about his final hours.

MB: It’s been said, the boy wasn’t a push over. He was very ill when he came to me and he only got sicker. He had a weak heart. Isn’t that a shame? He couldn’t even write letters, which he brought with him to the hospital. A whole bunch of papers that he kept trying to work on. But the fact is… he slept mostly. When someone is about to go… You don’t know death, son. I’m sorry for you. And I’m happy for you. The grip of the matter is that when someone’s body is ready to go… there ain’t nooo stopping it. He came in ready to fight but that body took him down. It always does.

DNZ: And his words – was he talkative?

MB: Son, get out of here, I already told you. He was shutting down. The party was ending. The lights were tungsten. What’s so wrong about letting the past go? You can’t get everything out of everything. Do you understand? What’s the title of this piece? What’d your boss tell you to come here about?

DNZ: Well, you’re very… advanced in age—

MB: If you came to insult me, I’ll just as soon knock you in the jaw myself…

(Marlette Blumbfeld made a move to her shoe, still seated, as a threat of corporal punishment.)

DNZ: Again, truly. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… inflame you. She told me to write an anniversary commemoration. It’s coming up. Almost seventy years.

MB: Good-ness. Boss is a woman and wanted to drum up shame against me? Why does that sting? I’m sorry your rag sent you here. Have a good day.

DNZ: Excuse me?

MB: Apologies to you and yours that your gossip zine sent you to sticky, sucky South Florida to flap gums with an octogenarian. Toodaloo.

DNZ: We are not a gossip magazine. We are a newspaper. We do real news. Journalism.

MB: Right.

DNZ: We do.

MB: Okay. Blame. Blame. Blame. What’s the matter about a few words from a smart man’s noggin, anyway?

DNZ: It could have been scientific insight.

MB: Ernt! Wrong answer. It could’ve been something about love – that’s the greatest thing he ever said.

DNZ: He was the first to develop the theories of quantum mechanics. The law of relativity.

MB: We are not our work, despite what some try to convince us of. “Love is a better teacher than duty.” Your generation. You’ve been blindly obedient. You think someone’s last words actually mean something. You think something is to be learned and gained and hurdled and discovered. You’re not gonna be a million-aire, okay? You probably like Machiavelli or Pinker.

DNZ: I do not understand…

MB: If you don’t mind, I’d like to be done. This is nothing but an exercise in bullying a caregiver. You know what I did for Albert? I injected him with sedatives and painkillers so that he could pass without suffering. Did you come here to thank me for that?

DNZ: Well–

MBL: I didn’t think so. I’m sorry you had to come all the way down here just to get thrown out but you can find your target on South Beach, not some old woman’s home. There’s plenty of gullible people who hate themselves there– bye now.

DNZ: Again, I– I didn’t intend this. Can I ask one more question?

MB: No.

(The interviewer gets up and moves toward the door.)

DNZ: What do you think he said? I know you do not speak German and I know he spoke German, but you know all the circumstances. What he was dying from. The kind of medication he was on. Who was in and out of his room. What he had said leading up to his final moments. If you had to guess? What do you think he meant to say? In translation.

MB: I think he asked for his mother. All little boys, no matter how big they grow, usually ask for their mothers when the time comes. It doesn’t matter if their wives and their daughters are surrounding them. They want mom. Him too.

DNZ: Thank you for this.

MB: Don’t go bragging about it. Tell your boss I’m ashamed of her.

DNZ: I won’t.

MB: If you let a hot draft in I’ll never forgive you. Good flight home, huh?

DNZ: Yes.

(End of transcript.)

And so this interview, for concerns about anti-semitism, assisted suicide and potentially anti-german sentiment, understandably, never published. There was too much tension and not enough story. Marlette Blumfeld passed away the following year and left her scrubs, which sat at the bottom of a moving box in her attic, to The New Times in Berlin. They were postmarked two weeks after her death and headed to Europe wherein they remained unclaimed as the newspaper had been bought by a subsidiary of The Sun in England and disbanded.